


Losing My Religion

by cinnabara



Category: South Park
Genre: Based on a song, Fluff and Angst, M/M, NSFW, One sided, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Slow Burn, Song Fic (Kinda), Unrequited Crush, fluff and probably some smut, nsfw (at end), self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-01-24 08:24:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnabara/pseuds/cinnabara
Summary: Kyle's unrequited love gets in the way of his friendship with Stan
Relationships: Implied Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger, implied Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch
Comments: 1
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

Kyle Broflovski had a pretty good life. He was the best basketball player in school, he had great grades and got the attention of plenty of girls. Yes, Kyle had a life that many boy’s his age dreamed of, but there was one problem, Stan Marsh.   
Kyle and Stan had been inseparable since kindergarten, they were rarely seen without the other. Kyle needed Stan to get through the day and Stan needed him too. They had always been there for eachother and put the other first, until Stan started dating Wendy Testaburger. Suddenly, Kyle found himself alone on their friday night movie nights, playing video games all by himself, and stuck with Kenny and Eric at lunch with no one else to talk too. It seemed like, for once in his life, he felt lonely. Sure they had fights, went days without talking even, but this was different.   
Years went by, and eventually Kyle began to grow used to Stans absence, but there were times when the feelings of emptiness came back to haunt him. This is what troubled Kyle on this late autumn evening, as he stared down at his phone blankly. No new notifications. He let out a silent groan and pushed his phone away from him so he wouldn’t have to look at the empty screen anymore. He remembered when Stan would text him back not moments after he put his phone down. Before Wendy came into his life. He turned his attention back to his homework, tapping his pencil rhythmically. Now that he was in eleventh grade he had a lot less free time, homework consumed his life. The only time he had that wasn’t spent on schoolwork was spent with Kenny and Cartman. He frowned, he still didn’t know why he hung out with Cartman after all these years. He hadn’t matured at all and had only gotten fatter and angrier. Kyle ran a hand through his fiery red hair, not wanting to think about Cartman right now, or ever, instead he should be thinking about his calculus homework. Now frustrated, Kyle scribbled down the last answer before shutting his book and heading upstairs for the night.


	2. Chapter 2

“And then I told him, you’re a stupid jew!” Eric said to Kenny before looking over at a very tired Kyle, expecting some sort of comeback  
“did you hear that Kyle? I said you’re a stupid jew!” he repeated, his nasally voice echoing through the cafeteria. Kyle perked up at hearing his name “oh, yeah...sure” he muttered, not really hearing what Eric said. Cartman frowned “retard” he turned back to Kenny and continued telling his story. Kyle glanced across the room to where Stan and Wendy were sitting. Just seeing his arm around her made him annoyed. He wished Stan would pay attention to him again, he wished he would treat him how he treated Wendy. Kyle furrowed his brow, no, he didn’t mean that. That was totally gay. Stan looked over at Kyle and waved, sporting a kind smile. Kyle waved back but didn’t smile, feeling melancholic. He couldn’t pinpoint why he hated seeing those two together, he just did. He knew deep down he was jealous, but he didn’t know why. 

Later that day, Kyle found himself walking home alone yet again. He decided to stop by the gas station to get a slurpee, figuring that would cheer him up. He was too busy looking down at his phone to notice the brunette that stood at the entrance until he bumped right into him.  
“Stan?” he raised a thick eyebrow in confusion “what are you doing here?”  
“Oh hey Kyle” Stan turned around and smiled at him “I was just here with Wendy, we needed to get some stuff before we went over to her place” he shrugged. Kyle felt his stomach drop at the mention of her name.  
“Oh” he said, looking down at the cold concreate “cool” he pulled at the flaps on his hat awkwardly “hey do you wanna hang out sometime this weekend?” he asked hopefully. Stan looked away awkwardly “I uh...I can’t” his cheeks grew a bit red “Wendy’s parents are going out of town this weekend” he smiled sheepishly. Kyle felt sick and walked away before Stan could say anything else. He didn’t feel like getting a slurpee anymore. 

Kyle realized for the first time in his life that he missed Stan and he hated that feeling. He thought about this as he walked inside and kicked off his boots. “I just want my best friend back” he thought. Ever since highschool started Stan and Wendy’s relationship had gotten more and more serious, Kyle didn’t even want to know what they’d be up too this weekend, or what they were doing at the gas station. He entered the living room with a scowl on his face.  
“Bubby, what’s wrong?” His mom stood up from the couch and put her hands on his cheeks, Kyle sighed “nothing mom, i’m fine”  
“No, I know when my babies upset!” Shelia said “now sit down and tell me whats wrong” she demanded, hands on her hips  
“Mom, really, I don’t want to talk about it right now” Kyle replied, feeling tears well up in his green eyes . Shelia sighed and walked back over to the couch  
“whatever you say bubby” she replied “come to me if you ever need to talk, okay?”  
“Ok” Kyle mumbled, feeling his voice crack as he rushed upstairs to have a good cry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle realizes his feelings for Stan

Kyle entered the lunchroom, eyes still puffy from his late night crying sessions. He was miserable, but he felt even worse when he saw who was sitting at their lunch table. “Stan?” he frowned, approaching the table and taking a seat next to the brunette. Stan turned to him “hey dude! Wendy had a doctors appointment so I decided to sit with you guys today” he said happily. Just seeing Stan smile made Kyle feel a little better.  
“So” Kenny leaned across the table and grinned at Stan, continuing their conversation “did you get lucky this weekend?”  
Stan blushed furiously “I uh” he paused and Kyle held his breath, not wanting to hear his answer  
“yeah actually”  
Kyle felt like he was going to cry all over again  
“Woah! Dude for real?” Kenny raised his hand for a high five which Stan reluctantly gave him  
“Yeah I finally lost it” he laughed, embarrassed by his friends antics. Kyle glanced at him, seeing how happy he looked over losing his virginity to Wendy of all people. It made him sick. He stood up and gave Stan a soft “congratulations” before rushing out of the room, not wanting to stick around to hear the dirty details. 

“Kyle? You in here dude?” Kyle heard a familiar voice echo through the boys bathroom  
“Kenny?” he groaned, unlocking the door to the stall he was in and peaking out. The dirty blonde walked over to him and opened the door wider  
“Have you been crying?” he asked  
Just hearing Kenny say that made him tear up again. Kenny panicked and pushed the door open all the way, kneeling down so he was at eye level with Kyle who sat on the toilet, head in his hands.  
“Whats wrong?” he asked, his voice softer and more comforting “shouldn’t you be happy for Stan?” he added, making Kyle look up at him in anger  
“Why would I be happy for him?” he said  
“I don’t know, maybe because you guys are best friends”  
“I don’t think he’s my best friend anymore...he’s too occupied with Wendy to care about me” Kyle sighed, pushing some hair out of his eyes and leaning back against the wall  
“Thats not true” Kenny replied, leaving a hand on his shoulder “Stan cares about you a lot, you know that”  
“If he cares about me then why doesn’t he spend time with me anymore? Why does he only talk about Wendy?” Kyle looked up at Kenny with tears in his eyes “why can’t he just pay attention to me again” he snapped. Kenny looked at him, not really knowing what to say  
“Sometimes I feel like I care about him more than he cares about me”  
“I get it” Kenny said. He lied, he didn’t get it. He had never had a friendship like Stan and Kyle’s, how could he get it?  
“No you don’t…” Kyle sniffled pathetically “Kenny” he trailed off  
“I think im in love with Stan”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan's relationship with Kyle takes a turn for the worst

Stan should be happy that he had finally lost his virginity but instead he just felt melancholic. He loved Wendy, didn’t he? He thought to himself. He shook his head, he didn’t like thinking about this, he knew he loved Wendy. He had a crush on her since first grade, he had to love her. The brunette stood up from the lunch table, still deep in thought, and started walking to class. He decided he would ask Kyle for advice, he always helped him out. Stan sighed, Kyle was such a good friend, sometimes Stan felt like he didn’t deserve someone like him in his life. Boy if Eric knew what he was thinking right now he would surely call him a queer. He pulled his hat down over his (now red) ears and made his way to math class. He would talk to Kyle after school. 

“Hey, Kyle!” Stan called out, running to catch up with him “wait up!”  
He turned around, his red curls bouncing in the wind “huh?”  
Stan caught up to him and panted a little “I need to talk to you”  
Kyle fought back a hopeful smile, “whats up?”  
“I need some advice, I don’t really know whats going on with me and Wendy anymore...I mean I know I should be happy that we finally did it but i’m not”  
Kyle rolled his eyes “is that really it?” he said, disappointment lingering in his voice  
“What?” Stan, oblivious as always, replied  
“Is that really what you were going to talk to me about?” Kyle said, frustrated  
“Well I-”  
“Stan! I don’t want to talk about Wendy, I don’t want to hear about your relationship! I’m sick of it!” Kyle snapped. Stan’s blue eyes widened in surprise at his friends sudden change in tone. He looked hurt. Kyle regretted yelling at him but at the same time he couldn’t stop spitting his emotions out like word vomit  
“I’m sick of hearing about your undying love for Wendy fucking Testaburger! I don’t care! I don’t care! I don’t care!” He yelled  
Stan raised his arms up in defense and backed away slightly “Kyle…” he reached out and touched his shoulder when he saw tears welling up in his deep green eyes. Kyle just slapped his hand away  
“Just...fuck off already” Kyle glared, storming away, leaving Stan all alone in the cold winter afternoon 

Stan laid awake that night thinking about what happened earlier between him and Kyle. He didn’t understand why Kyle got so upset. He ran a hand through his dark brown hair in a frustrated manner. He wanted to be mad at Kyle for blowing up at him, but something told him not to be. He stared up at his ceiling with a sad expression. He didn’t want Kyle to be mad at him, but how could he tell him he was sorry when he didn’t even know what he was apologizing for? He sighed and turned over, laying on his side. “Just...fuck off already” Kyle’s words lingered in his head, hurting him more and more the longer he thought about it. “Its strange…” he thought “even when me and Wendy fight I never feel this awful”. He felt like his heart was hurting and now he was even more confused than before.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, school was buzzing with news of an upcoming party at Token’s house and Kenny was currently begging Kyle to attend  
“Pleaaaaseeeeee” he whined, giving Kyle his best puppy dog eyes “it took me days to get us invited to this thing”  
“No thanks” Kyle scowled at the blonde “besides, Stan is probably going”  
“Aw did you two have a little lovers quarrel?” Eric cooed, making Kyle clench his fist in anger   
“Eric, I don’t have the patience to put up with your shit today” Kyle said through gritted teeth   
“Poor jewboy, how will he ever find love again?” Eric gave Kyle a shit eating grin   
“Eric, stop it” Kenny said, annoyed by the fat kids antics. Eric looked a bit shocked that Kenny decided to stand up to him for once  
“But he-” he rolled his eyes “nevermind, screw you guys, you’re no fun” he stood up and carried his lunch tray out of the room. Kenny looked back to Kyle, awaiting an answer   
“Come on dude” Kenny glanced over at Stan and Wendy quickly “even if Stan goes whats the big deal?”  
“Kenny, you know what the big deal is” Kyle replied, completely over his friends crappy attempts to get him to go to this stupid party   
“I’m not going and thats it” he said, standing up and leaving Kenny alone at the lunch table.

“Are you guys ack- going to the party tonight” a nervous blonde by the name of Tweek asked Stan and Wendy over at their table  
“Yeah, totally” Wendy said, looking over to Stan for reassurance  
“Yeah I guess so” Stan replied “are you?”   
“Yes” Craig answered for Tweek as he approached the table, putting an arm around the smaller boy, making him even more nervous than he already was. Stan watched as Kyle walked out of the lunchroom, looking more pissed off than usual. He wondered if he was going. 

Knock knock knock   
Kyle stood up from the couch and walked to the door   
“I wonder who that is” he thought.   
He opened the door only to be met with two big blue eyes staring back at him   
“Go away Kenny” he sighed “i’m not going to the party”   
“Yes you are!” Kenny said, bardging his way inside with Butters right behind him  
“Butters?! What are you doing here?” Kyle had just about had it with Kenny   
“Well im Kenny’s date” the small boy replied happily   
“When did this happen?” Kyle raised an eyebrow, looking over to Kenny   
“Don’t worry about it, just get ready for the party” he nudged Kyle   
“I already told you i’m not going!” Kyle snapped   
“Stan isn’t going to be there” Kenny flat out lied. In reality he just didn’t want Kyle to stay at home sulking again, because it would be up to him to cheer him and frankly he was growing tired of it. Kyle perked up  
“Really?” He asked, his voice laced with suspicion   
“Yes, now hurry up and get ready I can’t miss this party!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things start to heat up between Stan and Kyle

Token’s party was in full swing by the time Kyle, Kenny and Butters all arrived. The place reeked of alcohol and weed, making Kyle scrunch up his nose in disgust. He wasn’t much of a drinker, and he had never smoked weed before. He knew if Stan were here he’d be drunk out of his mind, and he’d scold him for drinking too much. He kind of missed that. And thats’ when he saw him. Stan Marsh, the man Kenny promised wasn’t going to be here, was in the corner fighting with Wendy and holding a beer bottle in his left hand. Kyle felt his face flush and he turned to Kenny angrily “i’m going to kill you” he mouthed furiously, Kenny gave him a toothy grin and ran off with Butters before Kyle could have a chance to do anything else. He looked back over to the corner where Stan and Wendy had been arguing, they were gone. Stan had stormed off in Kyle’s direction and bumped into him drunkenly   
“Hey dude” he said, his voice sounding rather glum   
“H-hey” Kyle stuttered nervously. What was he supposed to say to him after that fight? It probably didn’t matter because Stan would be too drunk to remember anyways   
“What are you doing here?” Kyle asked   
“I was here with Wendy, but she decided to be a bitch” he slurred and leaned against his best friend, he sniffled   
“Dude” Kyle was going to scold him, but seeing how sad he looked made him reconsider   
“And now shes prolly off with some other dude, doing it” Stan added, throwing his arm around Kyle. Ugh his breath stunk of booze. Kyle sighed, this was not how he wanted to spend his evening.   
“I’m sure that’s not true” he said reassuringly, although he secretly hoped it was. He wished they’d just break up already. They fought too much and Wendy didn’t treat Stan right, at least in his opinion. Stan looked up at Kyle, his eyes glossed over and his mouth half open, their faces just inches apart   
“You’re a good friend, man” he said before lightly kissing Kyle on the lips. Kyle almost fell, his knees felt so weak, holy shit. He gulped and thanked Stan quietly.   
“You should drink less” he said, still in shock   
“yeah...I know” Stan said, resting his head in the crook of Kyle’s neck. Kyle looked up at the ceiling, his cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.   
“Come on” Stan grabbed Kyle’s hand and dragged him to a nearby bedroom   
“Woah what are you doing?” Kyle, his face now completely red, asked nervously. Stan flopped on the bed “tired” he said, patting the spot next to him   
“Oh” Kyle sighed in relief, sitting down on the bed   
“You wanna smoke?” Stan asked, pulling out a lighter and some weed he had gotten from Token earlier. Kyle hesitated, what more did he have to lose?  
“Sure” 

“Kyle, im sorry” Stan said, exhaling slowly, the smoke from his blunt clouding up the room. Kyle frowned   
“What are you sorry for?” he asked, taking another hit   
“I don’t know...whatever I did wrong” Stan sat up, crossing his legs “whatever made you blow up at me the other day”  
“Oh...that” Kyle started “listen dude I-”  
“You’re a really good friend Kyle, I don’t want to lose you” Stan continued, grabbing Kyle’s hand and looking into his beautiful green eyes with his own blue ones   
“I love you, man” he said. Kyle felt his heart skip a beat. He knew Stan didn’t mean it like that, but just hearing him say those words to him made his whole body warm. Kyle knew Stan wasn’t going to remember this, so he took the opportunity to say   
“I love you too”  
Stan kissed him again, harder and with more passion. Kyle, just as surprised as the first time, let out a quiet gasp. He hesitated, but eventually kissed back. Stans hands slowly moved around Kyles waist and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Kyle needed to breathe but he didn’t care. He wanted to keep kissing Stan for as long as he could. Stan broke away for air but quickly came back down for more, Kyle almost didn’t have time to breathe. Stan licked his bottom lip gently asking for entrance and Kyle pulled away   
“Wait I don’t want to do this- not this way”   
Stan pouted “Kyle…” he reached out and touched his cheek   
“I love you, but I can’t” Kyle moved away, off the bed and out of the room. He couldn’t take advantage of his best friend.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter

Stans head was pounding and his stomach was in knots. He swore he would never drink again. Last night was a blur, he could only put together bits and pieces of what happened. All he really remembered was that him and Kyle made up. He pushed himself out of bed and walked to the bathroom to get some Aspirin.

“We kissed” Kyle said to Kenny over the phone, biting his lip nervously   
“No way!” Kenny hollered from the other side “finally!”   
“Just don’t tell anyone okay?” Kyle said sheepishly “I don’t think Stan remembers”  
“Yeah he was pretty drunk...fine, I won’t tell anyone”  
“Neither will I” a third voice chimed in   
“Wha- butters?!” Kyle groaned, Kenny must have taken Butters home with him last night  
“Yeah sorry about that, I had you on speaker since the start of our call” Kenny replied  
“Ugh, just don’t tell, okay?” Kyle said before hanging up. He didn’t have any reason not to trust them but he had a bad feeling about this. Just then he got a text from Stan  
“Dude, I feel awful”  
“You drank way too much last night” Kyle texted back  
“I know, hey can I talk to you about what happened last night?”  
Kyles heart stopped. Stan Knew.


	8. Chapter 8

Kyle approached Stan’s house nervously. He didn’t want this to happen. He couldn’t handle any more heartbreak, but for some reason he still found himself walking up the front steps and ringing the doorbell. Stan answered, eyes slightly red and puffy  
“Have you been crying?” Kyle asked, slightly confused   
“A little…dude I need to talk to you” Stan grabbed Kyle’s hand and pulled him inside. Kyle felt butterflies in his stomach when Stan touched his hand like that. Oh boy. This was not going to be fun   
“me and Wendy broke up” Stan sniffled.   
Kyle sighed in relief “really?” great, now he had to pretend to be sad for him  
“Yeah, I guess we fought or something, at Token’s party” Stan continued “and she texted me this morning saying she wanted to break up”   
“Stan I-I’m so sorry…” Kyle trailed off, soft of wishing Stan had remembered the kiss   
“Honestly I don’t even care that much” Stan said halfheartedly “I mean, I do but...I cared more when we had that fight a few days ago, I was scared I was going to lose you”  
“You’ll never lose me” Kyle looked down at his feet “Stan, I was just jealous of Wendy”  
Stan put a hand on his shoulder gently “Kyle i’m sorry I didn’t really...well- I wasn’t a good friend for awhile there, I got really distracted with Wendy and all I guess I kind of forgot about you”   
Kyle felt his heart beating faster, his body warmed by Stans caring touch  
“It’s alright, really, I shouldn’t have blown up at you like I did”  
“No dude, it’s my fault” Stan gripped his shoulder “I would have done the same thing”   
Kyle turned to Stan and offered him a small smile. Stan returned the favor and smiled back, letting go of Kyles shoulder. Kyle frowned at the loss of his warmth and without thinking he grabbed for his hand   
“What are you doing?” Stan drew back, raising a dark eyebrow in confusion   
“I uh- nothing” Kyle pulled away, blushing profusely   
“Nothing at all”


	9. Chapter 9

That following week, Stan and Kyle started sitting together at lunch again. It was like nothing had ever happened, their friendship was back to the way it was. But Kyle’s problem didn’t go away, in fact it got worse, he felt himself falling more and more in love with his best friend by the second. He was powerless. All he wanted was to kiss and hold him. He got all giddy whenever they talked, he felt like a little kid again. This hopeless crush wasn’t getting him anywhere so he decided to ask Kenny for some advice. Probably not the wisest decision since most of Kenny’s “advice” was strictly sexual and not helpful at all, but Kyle was beginning to feel like he had no one to turn to.   
“Kenny, I need your advice” Kyle said to the shorter blonde as they walked home together, Kenny just glanced at him questioningly   
“What should I do about Stan?” Kyle felt his face get hot at the mention of his crush   
“Just tell him how you feel” Kenny said as if it was nothing   
“Kenny, you don’t understand!” Kyle groaned “we’ve been friends for years, if he doesn’t feel the same way it’ll ruin everything...I don’t want to lose him”  
“I don’t think he’d just ditch you after all these years” Kenny replied earnestly “besides, I think he might like you too”  
“You’re just saying that” Kyle huffed   
“No i’m not, you know the whole reason they were fighting at Token’s party was because of you”  
“What?”  
“Wendy thought Stan cared about you more than her, apparently he never shuts up about you”  
Kyle fought back a smile and looked back at Kenny “seriously?”  
“Yeah, for real dude, so what are you going to do?” Kenny asked   
“I’m going to confess” 

Kyle marched up to Stan’s house, determined and filled with confidence. He was finally going to do it, after years of confusion and self hatred he was going to tell Stan he loved him and get it off his chest once and for all. He knocked on the door and not moments later, Stan answered. He looked good. His hair was a bit messy and his blue eyes sparkled in the afternoon sun. Wait, was that a hickey?  
“Uh…” Kyle stared at the red and purple bruise that was still forming   
“What?” Stan blushed “oh...this” he covered the hickey sheepishly “me and Wendy were just hanging out and things got...a little…”  
“Should I come back later?” Kyle’s voice cracked as he teared up, feeling like he had been slapped in the face   
“If you don’t mind’ Stan smiled at him, but his smile faded when he noticed the heartbroken look on his best friend’s face  
“Hey, whats wrong?”  
“Why’d you have to ruin everything?” Kyle mumbled, looking away   
“What?”  
“I said why’d you have to ruin everything!”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle confesses to Stan

“Stan, I love you” Kyle said, tears trailing down his cheeks   
“Kyle” Stan reached out and touched his face, cupping his cheeks gently “I love you too”  
and finally, they shared their first sober kiss. It was wonderful. Stan wrapped his arm around Kyle’s waist and pulled him close, using his free hand to wipe away his tears. Even though it was less than 20 degrees outside, Kyle’s whole body felt warm and he was happy.   
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP   
Kyle’s alarm clock woke him from his fantastic dream. He rolled over and pushed the button, shutting it up. He groaned, his eyes still sore from crying last night. He would never get over Stan, not like this. 

“They got back together?” Kenny said in disbelief   
“Yeah, so thanks a lot dude” Kyle pulled his green ushanka down over his hair as he continued walking alongside his blonde friend   
“It’s not my fault!” Kenny shouted in protest   
“I should have never kissed him to begin with”  
“I still think you should tell him how you feel”  
‘Now? No way dude, it’s hopeless”  
“You don’t know that” Kenny put a hand on his shoulder “I was still dating Tammy when I became interested in Butters”  
“All that proves is that you’re a slut” Kyle replied coldly, shrugging Kenny’s hand off   
“I’m just saying” Kenny frowned, pulling his hood up over his face 

On the other side of town Stan was currently walking with Wendy in the chilly Colorado morning, holding her hand as they made their way to school. He was currently lost in thought, ignoring whatever the hell Wendy was going on about. He was stuck on what Kyle had said earlier. He didn’t realize getting back with Wendy would make Kyle so upset, but he guessed it made sense, Kyle had admitted he was jealous of her.   
“Kyle must be upset because he thinks Wendy will get in the way of our friendship again” Stan thought to himself, oh if only it were that simple. 

Later that day, Stan found Kyle at his locker putting his books away. He approached him nervously, not wanting to upset him even more, but needing to talk to him  
“Kyle, can I talk to you”   
‘No” kyle replied dryly, not even looking up from his locker   
He knew Kyle would be standoffish at first after an outburst like that, but he hadn’t expected him to flat out reject him. He sighed   
“Dude please”   
“I said no, just leave me alone ok?” Kyle slammed his locker and started to walk away, but Stan wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He grabbed Kyle by his backpack and dragged him into the nearest room which just so happened to be a janitor’s closet.   
“What the hell man?!” Kyle yelled, Stan quickly put a hand over his mouth to shut him up, he couldn’t have anyone finding them in here and getting the wrong idea.  
“Kyle please” He said, desperation in his voice “please just talk to me”   
Kyle looked into his eyes and saw a certain sadness that persuaded him to stay   
“Fine” he said coldly “make it quick”  
“I just want to say that I promise Wendy won’t get in the way of our friendship anymore”  
Stan said, struggling to find the right words to make Kyle understand how much he meant it   
“You mean a lot to me and I don’t want you to be mad at me or anything I just…” he sighed “I don’t know, I just want you to know how much you mean to me”  
“I know…” Kyle looked at the ground angrily “how much I mean to you. Thats not my problem”  
“Then what is it?” Stan asked  
“I can’t tell you?”  
“Kyle, you can tell me anything”  
“No I can’t! I can’t tell you this because it’ll ruin everything, Stan you don’t understand”  
“Kyle...please” Stan reached out and grabbed Kyle’s hand gently, running his thumb over his knuckles in a soothing manner   
“Stan, I...can’t”  
“I promise it won’t change a thing” Stan stepped closer and used his free hand to cup Kyle’s face. Kyle closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of Stan’s hand comforted him and made him feel like he could tell the other boy anything   
“I’m in love with you”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan realizes his feelings for Kyle

Kyle broke free of Stans grip and ran out of the room before Stan had any chance to respond to him. Stan didn’t even try to stop him, he was so shocked. He loved Kyle, he knew he did, but not like that! He sighed, this was a mess. No wonder Kyle was so jealous of him and Wendy. Of course, Stan wouldn’t let this ruin their friendship, he didn’t think of Kyle any differently but how was he supposed to go about this? He sighed and sat down on the cold concrete floor, running his hands through his dark hair frantically “Kyle...why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Kyle ran, ran so hard he felt his legs were going to give out. He ran down the hall and out of the school before stopping to catch his breath. The familiar feeling of tears flowing down his cheeks catching him off guard. Why was he crying? He frowned, wiping his tears away violently before he started walking home. He didn’t care that the day was only half over, he couldn’t stay there and face Stan any longer. He never wanted to see him again.

Stan found himself zoning out again as Wendy talked about some new movie she wanted to see. He was too focused on Kyle. He didn’t see him in the lunchroom today, he assumed he went home. He decided he’d stop by his house after school to talk to him but he had no idea what to say. He cared about Kyle more than anyone in his life, even Wendy. Wait, that can’t be right? Wendy was his girlfriend, wasn’t he supposed to feel that way about her? Suddenly it all made sense. Why he was always concerned about Kyle’s well being, why he missed him so much even when he was just a few houses away, how he felt his heart beat faster every time Kyle smiled. Stan’s face flushed, how could he have not realized this sooner?   
“Stan? Stan! Are you even listening to me?” Wendy’s voice brought him back to reality   
“Uh yeah…” Stan hesitated “Wendy?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I think we should break up”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan confesses to Kyle. Sorry this last chapter is so short. I had no ideas

Stan ran out of the lunchroom, ignoring Wendy’s yells of protest. He ran down the hall and out of the school frantically, heading to Kyle’s house. His hat almost flew off from how fast he was running. He approached Kyle’s front door and stopped to catch his breath, knocking weakly “Kyle!” he called   
“Kyle please come out, I need to talk to you!”  
He waited. No response.   
“Kyle please!” He cried, desperation in his voice. He sighed and knocked on the door again, he was growing impatient. He heard footsteps approaching and took a step back, adjusting his hat and coat. But Kyle didn’t come out.   
“Go away” he heard his friend say though the door   
“Kyle…” Stan put his hand to the door that separated them “I love you!”   
Silence. And then, he opened the door   
“You’re messing with me” he said cynically, his eyes red and puffy. His nose a light shade of pink, his messy red hair engulfing his face beautifully. Kyle had never looked cuter to Stan then he did right now.   
“I’m not” Stan assured him “I broke up with Wendy for you”  
Kyle scoffed and looked at his feet, trying to hide his obvious blush   
“Kyle if I was messing with you, would I do this?” Stan leaned forward and cupped Kyle’s face, kissing him passionately. This took Kyle by surprise, he almost fell backwards onto the hardwood floor, but he kept his cool. Stan put an arm around his waist as Kyle wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing him back with equal force.   
“I love you, Kyle” Stan said breathlessly as he looked into Kyle’s bright green eyes   
“I...love you too”


End file.
